Wild Gray Goose

Celtic tradition identifies the Holy Spirit as a Wild Goose. He is the wings of a Wild God best followed by the wildest of men. I'm gray. I'm wild. Like He, I am not always predictable, rational, or safe. I believe my full life and my still maturing years of Walking With God offer both heart and substance for younger lads to consider. Now with 4th stage prostate cancer, following the Wild Goose has a different pace and perspective worth reflecting on...and sharing.

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Location: Full Time RV, mostly near Temecula, California, United States

I'm a young fella not far from 73 who's made it to the far and frayed edges of the adventures I‘ve been hankering for since boyhood. The age thing and my pursuits are relevant since I now have advanced 4th stage cancer, moved from unsuccessful chemo treatment to oral med...and they seem to be working. Now, after selling the ranch, my beautiful life-mate of 48 years and I live and travel in an fifth wheel RV we call our "covered wagon". The new and rich development of 2012 is our purchase of ranch in the marvelous plateau above GRAND JUNCTION at the head of the Colorado National Monument where my young family with six children run a whole-family therapy ranch, DEEP RIVERS FAMILY RANCH.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

WHEN THE ONCOLOGIST CALLS AND THE LORD SAYS, "Son, ..."

Think back on it, even just a little.  Do you realized how many times from our youth onward we who know we belong to God's family through our spiritual rebirth talk about "the end"?  My most recent "end times" phrase has come allive...so to speak.  I pray the author of the ditty they call an epitaph on my tombstone will include it.  Yes, it comes from deep within my personal and spiritual DNA; "Finish well."  "Wait!...Hey, what do you mean, 'FINISH'" ?!!

 
What if, suddenly, there is a number attached? Like a date, like so many years?  Like 5x365=1826..."more or less," so to speak?  It's the material of novels, drama, and comedies. Here's how USA Today put it: "Death bites. But dying while healthy, rich and free enough to drink life to the last drop is getting great press, thanks to 'Bucket List'".  The comedy about living to the fullest before you "kick the bucket" is three years old and still people are circulating things like, "100 Things To Do Before You Die".  It's great sport.  Unless there's a time frame.   

At lunch after our oncology consult, Carolyn and I drew up a bucket list, and
finishing Generational Fathering was on it.  The segment on the book site (remember, I'm still writing this with soninlaw, Matt) "The Long Ride" (as in "into the Sunset) has new meaning.  If you've read to this point, you may want to click on and save it. It's a good read and a "ponder prompter".

Our list isn't that big, surprsingly.  That's the value of a life fully lived with contentment, methinks.  But, maybe my love and I can squeeze our combined memoir in.   Special times with Cari and Matt and the grandwonders was on it; not just enjoying them but imprinting, guiding, teaching, telling stories from our lives.

"Perception," they say, "is everything."  So is timing. Carolyn and I have just reframed the tag line of life we adopted after our son's death.  We recite to ourselves and share it with others: "Life is short, life is hard, life is unfair, and it's end is uncertain."   So, be ready.

That's the point.  We are.  Ready, that is; really ready.  Would you believe even excited (me, more than Carolyn)? Life between here and "there" has definition.  Less likely to waste time in meaningless stuff.  Or buy meaningless stuff.  Or argue over meaningless stuff.  

Let me ease back on the mystery and angst for our friends.  There's piles of data, opinions, medical and pharmacological advances and all that.  I could tell you T3b-N1-M0 is not scarey, not hopeful, just clear.  Oncologists love it when YOU present the data and ask for confirmation.  All mine with the smile as big as his long Polish name had to do was agree or modify my, "So doctor, it looks to me I'm in early stage four.  The median stats say I'm good for probably five years, possibly more."  "That about sums it up," he said, his practiced stern affirmatoin looking more like a relieved grin.   Still, it's a time frame. "Short" or "long" is a matter of perspective.  And "GOOD for" is quite apt if I so-chose. 

A visiting pastor to our RV Resort Chapel congregation of "retired-and-then-somes" preached from Psalm 119 last Sunday.  Wonder why verse 50 leaped out as if illuminated from God's Hi-Liter?  "My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life."  Oh, there's more.  Much.  Like, verse 41, "May your unfailing love come to me, O LORD," and verse 58, "I have sought your face with all my heart; be gracious to me according to your promise."  Things like that.

End a post with a question pro bloggers say.  So, HOW ABOUT YOU?  Ready?  Will "short" and "its end is uncertain" catch you not ready to stand before a gracious but righteous God?  Your shoulders are not big enough to bear your sins (few or many), but Jesus's are.  And for the "ready" ones, are you GOOD for finishing well? 

Post your ponderings and pontificatons by clicking on "Comments"  just below the line down there.

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5 Comments:

Blogger JC Dude said...

Gary...you amaze me. I know that Father is holding you close and giving you strength for this latest challenge. I will continue to pray and ask our Lord to keep ya around for many years.

Peace,
Jay

7:11 PM  
Blogger Windmill Duke said...

Hey, brother Dude, thanks. I'm aware of the social media version of Jesus observation: "Many will read, but few will comment." Thanks for your. Never mind it's been a week since your comment. I re-read this, ready for a new entry, but my own statements ministered to me enough, I'll keep it for a bit.

I want to talk with you about stuff. Let's work that out.

7:28 AM  
Blogger humminalong said...

Dear Gary.
I have a lot to ponder in my later years. My "bucket list" hasn't hardly begun but, I do know that I want to live near family and I want to meet you, sit down with yourself and Carolyn and discuss whatever the Lord leads us to. How can I be significant in the lives of my granwonder since I've not been around tt themm most of thier lives? . That is my main concern at this point. I'm 61 yrs young and still have time to make a difference and. Prayer seems to be the main way I can s influence them now.
Thank you for your inspiration in this area thus far. Since I'm not "allowed" to share the Lord's Gospel in their home (or anywhere) with them I keep my prayers alive and go to Him for their salvation. I know I may never know if they come to know the Father and His Son so I am cautious in what I say to them, which also cuts out a lot of who I am. What would you do in this situation? I thank you for your sharing candidly with us about your life and your family. You two are an inspiration to many.
I don't wish to blab along here so I'll say "Thanks" and wait to see your response to me as well as part 2 of you article on Gen-Dads :). Be well as the Lord provides.
Christ Alone
{PattiI cannot see my typing~ and I'm not a typist at all, so I can't edit my word. LOL! Nor can I edit my errors out, so I hope you will cut me a break and overlook them. I'm sorry if it makes it difficult to read. !

2:05 PM  
Blogger humminalong said...

P.S My grandwonders are soon to be 14 yrs (granddaughter) and my grandson is 15. Thier parents do not know the Fathe & Son.
Again, I can't see what I'm typing so I suppose you are getting "pot-luck" LOL! All I see is red underlines! LOLOLO>! ~Patti

2:10 PM  
Blogger Windmill Duke said...

Patti, slow to respond due to the discipline I’m only partially successful at: getting out of the “cloud” and actually do the reading writing necessary for the book. IN fact, though, yours is a sadly common dilemma, even for grandparents not gripped by the Gospel. In part, it’s the nature of the kids we raised that are now parents. Independence and self-sufficiency underlies their culture. “I can do it myself.” Tack on the heritage of our wild west history, the independence frontier survivalist that is in the DNA of our psyche.

THUS, Matt and I are giving your plea and your dilemma some consideration as we write. We’ve got a chapter on “Finding Dad” to write. It will address single MOMs and excommunicated GrandMOMs. Meantime, I have this to say…with hesitation since is sound like I pulled from an old zip-lock bag: Keep faithful, keep praying, keep cool, reassure yourself of God’s grace and love-filled sovereignty. Do NOT forget He (and maybe only He) love 14 and 15 year olds even more than you do.

One other thought from the evangelist in me. Bide you time in both prayer and preparation. Prepare yourself to understand the Millennial culture they are immersed in. Learn where the hurt places are and be prepared to offer them Hope when the conversation comes. The hurts of the past with their parents is another worthy target of your patience and prayer. A good friend has been a recovering alcoholic for 30 years and is just now getting hugs and love from two of his three sons. He says it was worth the painful wait. It shows on his face.

12:01 PM  

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mattncari@scinternet.net, marvbowers@gmail.com, bigmuff@aol.com, carolyn@newseason.us, beckerkel@gmail.com, cookingham@juno.com, gary@newseason.us, mpettit@theaspenranch.com, glivingstone@fimltd.org, thepauper@apauper.com

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